Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Search for Survivors

So I drag ass to the gym this morning...I totally didn't feel like it, but after some late night Merlot and whole wheat pasta, it was the least that I could do. Or rather should do. It's not like I was going to be late for work because I don't have a job anymore! Yippee! I totally quit! He was an asshole! I will refer to him later as Administrator Man (AM) rather than asshole.

Anyway, I drive the whole 1\2 mile to the gym at around 8:30 AM and it's pretty packed.

Oh I forgot to tell you, before I left my house, I sent my old boss an email giving her a head's up that my resume is out floating around the New Orleans area and I listed her as a reference. So people might be calling her....Yes I know you are VERY busy A-T-T-O-R-N-E-Y oh sorry I forgot VERY talented and funny and stylish and blah blah blah. She was pissed when I quit to go work for a large firm downtown and she got all weird on me..... like she took it personally. It was for $8,000 more a year! What was I supposed to do?? It all turned to caca within 30 days, but how was I suppossed to know AM was possessed and his running buddy, Junior League HR lady was a compulsive QVC on-line shopper?

So I get on the eliptical stairmaster thingy at the gym and they have 9 TV's on in the cardio area with 9 different stations. The middle TV was turned to FOX or CNN and the headline read "Searching for Survivors" talking about the people that are stuck in a mine in Virginia. Then on another TV they have the flooded out people in Northern Californa. Another station showed the ice skating rink in Germany that collapsed and killed a bunch of people.

I'm like shit man I can't take it, so I turn up my Ipod Shuffle, close my eyes and visualize being on a bike next to Lance Armstrong climbing up some hill in France. Yea baby! That's what I'm talking about, Girlfriend! Woo! Woo! Cheryl is out shopping or playing that stupid guitar of hers or whatever. So after about 10 minutes, I'm finally breaking a good sweat and trying to purge out all the marinara sauce and vino.

Everything's going good and then all of a sudden this girl gets on the stairmaster thingy next to me and starts yapping on her cell phone. Now I must admit, I have been around alot of gyms and health clubs in the last (ugg!) 23 years in Houston and LA, and when you see someone doing something totally stupid, it's usually a chick. Sorry ladies, just keeping it real.

She is aggravating the shit out of me and I want to run away screaming. However, I only have about 13 more minutes until Lance and I are done with our climb and I'm not stopping early because of dip shit over here with her cell phone.

So I finish up, send Lance back to Cheryl and go fill up my water bottle. When I turn back around, the annoying cell phone girl is gone and all of the TV's have fluff shows on - MTV, the Food Network, Martha, the View, etc.

It was weird, like, did I just dream this whole thing?